Sunday, October 4, 2009

Facts about me

September 21 the world received meIn lovely Dallas, TexasNot only was I Daddy's little girlBut he was my safe haven
He was my hero and light That was dimmed in 1989 When he passed awayFrom heart complications His love is alive in me
My son is the most important person in the world Who has taught me patience, true love, and dedication He is my savior in every sense of that word
I was married before I wouldn't call it a mistake I just wouldn't call it wise But out of my time with him, I received the best gift My angel of a son Can't always trust your heart
I had a total hysterecomy in March 2004 Menopause at my age is a blast, let me tell you My medical issues are numerous But I learn to deal
I have bipolar, anxiety disorder, and fibromyalgia I take many meds a day and am not ashamed of it I say, whatever keeps me ticking, I will keep popping
I am independent, stubborn, and very set in my ways My priorities are finally mine With Austin being number one And the love of my life being number 2 I am on disability
I feel that my dreams are finally coming true With my roads certainly leading up And the bottom isn't coming out for once
And once I accepted I didn't need a significant other I found one, and my life's "bonus" is incredible
I am love with the TV shows Moonlight, Lost, CSI NY, NCIS and Psych I collecteverything on those shows And when they are on, I am not to be disturbed Other shows I love are CSI, Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles, True Blood and Eastwick
Fave actors: Matthew Fox, Russell Crowe, Edward Burns, John Cusak Fave Actresses: Evangeline Lilly, Lena Headey, Jennifer Aniston, Olivia Wilde, Angelina Jolie, Elizabeth Mitchell, and Kate Winslet,Fave movies: Imagine Me and You, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,Laurel Canyon, Brokedown Palace, Holy Smoke, White Oleander and many more
Music brings out the creative passion in me.I love Linkin Park, Delirium, Plumb, Lorenna McKennit, Evanescence, Jay-ZI like a variety, way too many to name here
I am a neat freak.I clean AT LEAST 3 or 4 times a week.Hey, some people pick up a drink.I pick up Windex.
I cannot stand to cook.But I can. And I will on occassion.
We live currently in a 3 bedroom house.Which I am loving decorating.
I am extrememly devoted and proud of my faith.My fave time of day is the morning -- where it is all quiet and I do my blessings.I used to be a "Night Owl" and I still ADORE the night and feel close it it.I am just sleeping more through it now. Thanks to some nifty medicine.
I am a Texas girl and thought I always would be.Now I am entertaining the notion of (eventually!) movingAnd I would LOVE a vacation to Hawaii I could kill 2 birds wtih one stone Enjoy a vacationAnd stalk the Lost set Hey, a girl can dream
Writing is my passion Without it, I would lose what is left of my mind.And we all know we do not want that.My poems are the very heart and soul of me and Getting them on paper releases the pent up words
I am not much of a phone talker.Unless it is to people I can't talk to in person
I LOVE to read Mostly books on my bathI am an avid collector
I have certain demons from my past I am finally free of No, I DID NOT run, I CHOSE to cut things off for my own sanity For safety, health and legal reasons.
There is no greater sounds than Austin's "I love you Mommy" or "Mommy, you are the best" I could write a book on just his words, but let's face it, this is supposed to be a list
I CANNOT STAND HYPOCRITES OR INTOLERANCE! I could never change my yesterdays Because they made my todaysMy head is often not 100% clear, but as least I have room to clear it out
My life's motto: To leave 2 marks: one with my pen, and one with my heart

Some poetry by me


And somehow I know
The locked parts inside
I have lost the key
I need to just hide

I don't like it like this
I am so imprisoned'
I can't see the way out
If only I'd listened

The bruises I have
Cover every inch of me
I don't know how to heal
So that I may finally see

And somehow I know
Even with my locked inside
You'll one day find the key
And I'll no longer have to hide

Copyright© Renee

"Save It"

Dry your eyes
The tears aren't real
You can no longer manipulate
The way that I feel

Quiet your voice
You portray the victim
Merely to get sympathy
They don't even know you've tricked them

Hush your thoughts
Sadly, you believe your lies
You brought this upon yourself
And I refuse to sympathize

No more bullshit 'I love yous'
Tired of your constant mind fuck
I chose to simply walk away
And at last, I feel unstuck

Copyright© Renee

"Gentle Hauntings" (named for my blog)

A bared, haunted and broken soul
Evident thru these very pages
Falling down this deep, dark hole
Its feels I've been there for ages

Am not here to merely sugarcoat
And my writings are not to gain pity
It's my therapy to read what I wrote
Not all of it is going to be pretty

Despite being completely frozen inside
I know that blessings are all around
All I have to do is look beside
Where they keys lie so I don't feel bound

I see the piece of my reflection
The past; creeping and daunting
Here is where you will find heartfelt affection
Through these pages of Gentle Hauntings.

Copyright© Renee